Toga! Toga! Toga!

21 11 2010

So.

I’ve been a college student for three months, as of today. I haven’t been home once…but  24 hours from now, I’ll be sitting in the car with my dad, making the 7 hour trek back to Jersey. Going home.

I’m ready for a break, ready for civilization again. I’ve been living the life of a dorm rat, living off of instant oatmeal and nutella for the past 12 weeks – at this moment, Thanksgiving dinner is like that shimmering mirage on the desert horizon, the hint of water on the peak of a sun-scorched dune. I can almost taste the sweet potatoes, the gravy, the pumpkin pie…enough. I’m starting to drool.

Food is just one thing I’m looking forward to about going home. I’m looking forward to a lot of things. Getting out of Meadville, for one…I need life and streets to explore! I’ve developed such disdain for the town…it’s not healthy but I can’t help it. My soul has been tattooed to the streets of New York and my heart is stored in a tiny apartment somewhere in Brooklyn’s Polish quarter. I need to return to it. It’s time for me to go home.

And as the semester draws to a close and I point the tips of my weather-worn boots towards home, I can’t help but let my thoughts breeze over the events of the last 12 weeks. And I realize that I’ll be returning home a changed young woman. This place is shaping me. I’m growing with each buzz of the alarm clock in the morning and every time I look in the mirror, its an ever-transforming face I see. I’ve learned so much about myself that I never would have been aware of back home; I’m a leader. I’m a cheat but I’m a lover; I’m an artist and a dreamer; I’m scared but not alone; I’m young but feel old. I’m a mixed batch of contradictions, but I’m starting to figure myself out.

Coming back in January, I hope to continue to grow. That’s a vague statement, so let me clarify: I hope to not only test the waters that the sea of life has sent my way, but to dive headfirst into them. I’m meant for great things, and I lead a charmed life. And my first year of college, with all it’s broke food, parties, late-night movies and early-morning hangovers, is the perfect recipe for the only expedition I am ready to embark upon at this point in my life…finding myself among the chaos of this world.

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